The following is rated PG-13 for intense life/death situations and brief strong language.
It is possible to drown at the top of a mountain. Just watch the movie "Vertical Limit". Wait, actually don't, unless you like dramatic, inaccurate, and predictable action films (which I happen to enjoy). To put this in perspective: "Vertical Limit" is to "Everest" as "The Poseidon Adventure" (the original, not the remake) is to "U-571".
High Altitude Pulmonary Edema aka "HAPE" occurs when low oxygen concentration in your bloodstream, increased artery pressure, and hypertension cause a fluid buildup in the lungs. You literally drown in lack of air. A classic sign of pulmonary edema is the production of pink frothy sputum. Hahaha, even after NOLS medical training, I cannot read that phrase without laughing inside. Pink. Frothy. Sputum. hahaha, I just imagine people foaming cotton candy at the mouth.
An even more extreme reaction to altitude can result in cerebral edema, a swelling of the brain. This is called High Altitude Cerebral Edema or HACE. Wikipedia says this on Altitude-induced Edema: "[Pulmonary and Cerebral Edemas] remains the major cause of death related to high-altitude exposure with a high mortality in absence of adequate emergency treatment." Tomorrow I go to the Northern Badia to live like a Muslim Bedouin. Acclimatization is imminent. Cultural Edema is a distinct possibility. This is what I have to say on Culture-Acclimization induced Edema: "Hashemite Activated Cultural Edema (HACE) remains the major cause of expired confidence and chronic shame related to high levels of exposure to a new culture in the absence of adequate emergency treatment." Luckily I am bringing some emergency treatment: Some orange tang for my nalgene, a pocket-sized wheel of cheese, and my Spanish copy of "The Lord of the Rings". That should keep me grounded in my own comfortable version of reality.
It is debatable whether I will get Accute Hashemite Cultural Edema but one thing is certain...I am just as likely to perish from chronic HAFE (High Altitude Flatus Expulsion aka Hashemite Activated Flatus Expulsion). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_altitude_flatus_expulsion. This is a real condition and a real cause for concern unlike Michael Scott's "Joining Together in the Fight to Cure Rabies". It is entirely unexplainable why this happens to many mountain climbers. When your body acclimates to a new culture, it is exposed to unpredictable factors, one of which is food. As one who is already prone to flatulence, I fear that a misconstrued bowel movement in the middle of the night when the entire family is asleep on mats on the floor of a single room may get me a premature camel ride back to Amman. To be determined.
Side Note: If I do acquire a live camel on my Bedouin travels, I intend to bring it back as a souvenir. I am fully aware that U.S customs will not like this. It may have to be a baby camel. I may have to buy a plane ticket for it and dress it up in a Dushdash and a Koofiya. Plan B: ship it to the JHU Recreation Center, Outdoor Base Camp pronto in a box labeled "Apache Helicopter" Fragile. This Side up. Ship High in Transit. I'll shave the directions on how to take care of said camel into the right flank of the camel because the left flank is considered dirty and unholy. It will be a Muslim camel. Matt & Andrew, consider yourselves fore-warned. Do not be alarmed if your mail spits at you in the near future.
Chatting with Biff today in front of the British Embassy, we came to the conclusion that it is cruelly ironic that the words used to describe entering a new culture are "immersion" and "acclimatization", both of which are also used to describe extremely miserable and/or life-threatening physical and mental states (HACE, HAFE!!!). She pointed out how it is nearly impossible to say we have had a "bad" experience in Jordan. We are unable to reflect on our experiences as "bad" or "unproductive" because of the nature of studying abroad. We agreed to embark on a journey to hopefully expand our comfort zones, fully knowing what levels of shame and embarrassment that might entail (the most recent example in my life: dancing a desperate macarena in the center of a dozen clapping Arab Women in an apartment. Mabrook!) Instead "bad" experiences like the snake on the plane, are dubbed "challenging" experiences and good experiences are "the best thing that's ever happened to me"! And this is the attitude I will take to the Northern Badia. I have been told that the family I am living with for the next week is conservative and speaks little to no English. This is exactly what I wanted, that and living within a 5 minute walk from the Syrian border (Hellz yea!). Even if I find I am in a state of misery equivalent to when I was at about 18000 feet while climbing Cayambe, there is no doubt that I will learn something from it as long as I continue to view my experience as a challenge that can be overcome. The nalgene is indeed half full......of tang.
And now for some spontaneous Russian and Jordanian Reversal:
For those of you who don't know what Russian Reversal is.... It's a fun word game built to mock the counter-intuitiveness of the Soviet Union's socio-political system. It goes something like this...
In Soviet Russia, party find you!
In Soviet Russia, Google searches you!
In Soviet Russia, sentence finishes you!
In Hashimite Jordan, cute lamb eats you!
In Hashimite Jordan, you spit on camel!
In Hashimite Jordan, King Abdullah looks at a picture of you!
In Hashimite Jordan, Hookah smokes you!
In Hashimite Jordan, cousin marries you! (okay, this one works both ways)
In Hashimite Jordan, Syrian border has dreams about crossing Anne.
In Hashimite Jordan, the world says 'good night' to Anne.
It is possible to drown at the top of a mountain. Just watch the movie "Vertical Limit". Wait, actually don't, unless you like dramatic, inaccurate, and predictable action films (which I happen to enjoy). To put this in perspective: "Vertical Limit" is to "Everest" as "The Poseidon Adventure" (the original, not the remake) is to "U-571".
High Altitude Pulmonary Edema aka "HAPE" occurs when low oxygen concentration in your bloodstream, increased artery pressure, and hypertension cause a fluid buildup in the lungs. You literally drown in lack of air. A classic sign of pulmonary edema is the production of pink frothy sputum. Hahaha, even after NOLS medical training, I cannot read that phrase without laughing inside. Pink. Frothy. Sputum. hahaha, I just imagine people foaming cotton candy at the mouth.
An even more extreme reaction to altitude can result in cerebral edema, a swelling of the brain. This is called High Altitude Cerebral Edema or HACE. Wikipedia says this on Altitude-induced Edema: "[Pulmonary and Cerebral Edemas] remains the major cause of death related to high-altitude exposure with a high mortality in absence of adequate emergency treatment." Tomorrow I go to the Northern Badia to live like a Muslim Bedouin. Acclimatization is imminent. Cultural Edema is a distinct possibility. This is what I have to say on Culture-Acclimization induced Edema: "Hashemite Activated Cultural Edema (HACE) remains the major cause of expired confidence and chronic shame related to high levels of exposure to a new culture in the absence of adequate emergency treatment." Luckily I am bringing some emergency treatment: Some orange tang for my nalgene, a pocket-sized wheel of cheese, and my Spanish copy of "The Lord of the Rings". That should keep me grounded in my own comfortable version of reality.
It is debatable whether I will get Accute Hashemite Cultural Edema but one thing is certain...I am just as likely to perish from chronic HAFE (High Altitude Flatus Expulsion aka Hashemite Activated Flatus Expulsion). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_altitude_flatus_expulsion. This is a real condition and a real cause for concern unlike Michael Scott's "Joining Together in the Fight to Cure Rabies". It is entirely unexplainable why this happens to many mountain climbers. When your body acclimates to a new culture, it is exposed to unpredictable factors, one of which is food. As one who is already prone to flatulence, I fear that a misconstrued bowel movement in the middle of the night when the entire family is asleep on mats on the floor of a single room may get me a premature camel ride back to Amman. To be determined.
Side Note: If I do acquire a live camel on my Bedouin travels, I intend to bring it back as a souvenir. I am fully aware that U.S customs will not like this. It may have to be a baby camel. I may have to buy a plane ticket for it and dress it up in a Dushdash and a Koofiya. Plan B: ship it to the JHU Recreation Center, Outdoor Base Camp pronto in a box labeled "Apache Helicopter" Fragile. This Side up. Ship High in Transit. I'll shave the directions on how to take care of said camel into the right flank of the camel because the left flank is considered dirty and unholy. It will be a Muslim camel. Matt & Andrew, consider yourselves fore-warned. Do not be alarmed if your mail spits at you in the near future.
Chatting with Biff today in front of the British Embassy, we came to the conclusion that it is cruelly ironic that the words used to describe entering a new culture are "immersion" and "acclimatization", both of which are also used to describe extremely miserable and/or life-threatening physical and mental states (HACE, HAFE!!!). She pointed out how it is nearly impossible to say we have had a "bad" experience in Jordan. We are unable to reflect on our experiences as "bad" or "unproductive" because of the nature of studying abroad. We agreed to embark on a journey to hopefully expand our comfort zones, fully knowing what levels of shame and embarrassment that might entail (the most recent example in my life: dancing a desperate macarena in the center of a dozen clapping Arab Women in an apartment. Mabrook!) Instead "bad" experiences like the snake on the plane, are dubbed "challenging" experiences and good experiences are "the best thing that's ever happened to me"! And this is the attitude I will take to the Northern Badia. I have been told that the family I am living with for the next week is conservative and speaks little to no English. This is exactly what I wanted, that and living within a 5 minute walk from the Syrian border (Hellz yea!). Even if I find I am in a state of misery equivalent to when I was at about 18000 feet while climbing Cayambe, there is no doubt that I will learn something from it as long as I continue to view my experience as a challenge that can be overcome. The nalgene is indeed half full......of tang.
And now for some spontaneous Russian and Jordanian Reversal:
For those of you who don't know what Russian Reversal is.... It's a fun word game built to mock the counter-intuitiveness of the Soviet Union's socio-political system. It goes something like this...
In Soviet Russia, party find you!
In Soviet Russia, Google searches you!
In Soviet Russia, sentence finishes you!
In Hashimite Jordan, cute lamb eats you!
In Hashimite Jordan, you spit on camel!
In Hashimite Jordan, King Abdullah looks at a picture of you!
In Hashimite Jordan, Hookah smokes you!
In Hashimite Jordan, cousin marries you! (okay, this one works both ways)
In Hashimite Jordan, Syrian border has dreams about crossing Anne.
In Hashimite Jordan, the world says 'good night' to Anne.
Why do I see an emergency flight to Damascus in my future?
ReplyDeleteIn case of flatus, blame the camel.
In Hashimite Jordan, Hookah smokes you.